I can't believe we have our first snow on the ground! It always makes me want to write and to reflect on our year. I guess it is that sense of hibernation that kicks in when the slowing down period begins to take hold with the shorter, colder days.

I also feel that sense of holiday that makes me want to bake....sounds cheesy I guess but it happens every year. I want to make cookies with the boys and do art projects etc..... It always makes me want to start a new hobby like crocheting or sewing which I have been trying to learn. I got a new machine last Christmas and bought some great books to kick it off and it just hasn't happened yet. Indy just asked the other day, "why does your sewing machine sit in the top of the closet? You never use it mom!" Ahhhhh to be so gently reminded of our failed attempts at creativity. But like all years this year I again have the urge with the changing of the season to get it down.

We spend many evenings after dinner watching the boys draw and create stories. I just love it. When it is too cold and too dark to enjoy time outside it is just the right time to delve into our creative insides and pull out something that we might not have known we had hiding in there. Maybe while they draw I should be listening to the humming of my machine(although humming sounds rather nice and when I sew it is not really humming). Maybe this winter I will conquer a craft........maybe!

MISC.

I am: listening to the soundtrack for "where the wild things are," took the boys last weekend and adored it!

I am: smelling the pumpkin seeds we roasted this morning after a night of carving pumpkins and reading about how that tradition started......after several long hours of carving we lit them up and knew that they were keeping the spirits away at least the evil ones.

I am: So excited after seeing our baby on the big ...o.k. little screen in the dr. office yesterday there was moments of breathlessness as i watched the baby as well as my family take in the moment. I am always very anxious as they measure, sigh and try to get those needed shots. After 45 min of video and q and a we were done and our baby m looks perfect and I feel perfect about that baby!

I am: Looking forward to Halloween tonight and I am thankful that I am not hosting the party. Although this is the one we plan for and love to host every year, this seems like a good year to have a hiatus from it with baby M and all wearing me out at every turn!

I am: anxiously awaiting the end of my time at work......I think it is coming within the next month. Many changes are happening at the office and my office at home has been neglected as I tried to balance that hard to balance work and family. Jett loves preschool and Indy is at school the entire time I am at work so he feels nothing of me working outside of the home. It's the inside of our business and the inside of my home that has me reeling from walking the tightrope! I just can't keep up with the boys, the home, the job outside, and the business, throw a pregnancy in there and as the belly grows I am sure I am about to wipe out and so I have decided to jump and land on my feet..........hopefully!

Look what we found!

Hiking up at Tamarak this summer we found this. Not sure what it was but we all found it very interesting as well as a little creepy!

It was JETTS day to make a pizza

Jett made a pizza at Flying Pie the other night. It was a lot of fun watching him work away in the kitchen carefully choosing his toppings, rolling out the dough etc... He is my helper in the kitchen for sure. If I am cooking he has a stool and is right there begging to stir, pour, sift, press whatever needs to be done to prepare the meal. (he definitely does not get that from his father) So when it was his time to make the pizza I knew we couldn't miss it! Now, just waiting patiently for Indy to get on the board.............!

The finished product......Extra cheese, green pepper a ton of olives, tomato, garlic and pinapple pizza BAM....it was delish! My favorite pic of the night.......how excited his eyes look.

Summer Love

When I see this photo I want to break out in song....Sitting on the dock of the bay watching the clouds roll away............ We had a great camping trip filled with great friends and of course a lot of fun!

Did you catch a fish? Or is that the 100th time you have thrown it out and brought it in? I watched over and over and giggled at how little patience children have!

Again let me break out in song..........He is so dang cute sitting on the dock watching the time roll away.

Spring Time

I made this delish blueberry, blackberry bread with coconut and bananas, NO Sugar and it was so good I had to post a pic! Perfect for springtime!

Before school I like to ride my skateboard and do a little show!

You can't see it but Jett peered down into the water where a beetle lay helpless floundering around and gently in a kind of whisper explained," Poor beetle you thought this was a swimming pool but it's not!" I waited to see if he was going to save the beetle but he just watched him "swim"

Our rain barrel what a great useful and beautiful addition to our yard!

Easter McCall 2009

We made a trip to McCall on Easter it is usually our first camping trip of the year however with this years cold and the memories of last years frozen toes we opted for a warmer Easter vacation getaway! The condo was amazing huge with a gorgeous view of the lake. We dyed eggs, read books, ice skated, shopped and enjoyed each other's company and the company of friends. Here our some snapshots of our vacation!

A Spring Day @ the Park

The sun was out and it was the first time in a long time that the idea of being outside (and not skiing) became appealing. Jett was chomping at the bit to "do something" to "walk wherever we were going," and I knew then that spring had sprung into full swing! Indy, Jett and I put on our jackets and deliberated whether we were going to walk or ride bikes and to Indy's dismay we decided to walk. First because Jett was dying to be pushed in his stroller that is way to small for him and secondly because after a long day at work a walk together to the park seemed like the perfect opportunity to catch real time and real conversation with the two most important "little men" in my life. We strolled slowly looking at the bushes and trees starting to bud with new life we picked dandelions and checked out the covers on the storm drains letting us know that they flowed to the river and we were not supposed to dump trash or chemicals in them. This led to a long conversation about our earth and recycling and why it is important to be conscience of the things we do and don't do. It was a great conversation one I am sure we would have not had had we chosen Indy's idea to bike.


We arrived at the park ready to swing, run, jump, climb and to our surprise Jasun rode his bike over after work and brought a Frisbee. We played for hours and it wasn't until our stomachs started growling that we decided to trek back to the house and BBQ some salmon patties.

Here is some quick snippets of our night!

Flubber Fun

We made Flubber tonight it is so much fun and provides lots of lasting entertainment for both of them. We first found the Flubber at OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) when we visited Portland this fall. The boys were enamored by this orange goo and it was all we could do to get them to see what else the museum had to offer. Needless to say I did not leave without getting the instructions on how to make it. Part of the fun of making the flubber is letting the kids get their hands dirty and squish it into it's alien form. As you can see from the pictures Jett LOVES it. We have done white flubber, glitter flubber, orange flubber, green flubber and more.

Where Did February Go?

February 2009 will likely be one of those months that I will want to but will never be able to forget. The flight of February was due to it being one of the hardest months of my life. My father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I was so completely taken back by what happened that a week passed and I don't even think I was present. Guilt, sadness, shame all whirled around me and I was functioning at a very low level. I barely had time to process what was happening as it was me who needed to make arrangements with the mortuary and funeral home. I wanted to be a child again head in the clouds, drifting along aware but unaffected. I literally had to dig down deep to places I had never had to visit to tackle things that I had given very little thought to.

By the second week I felt like someone else pushing myself along waking with a list of duties and pushing myself forward like a drill Sargent without choice, "women you will get this done"! I don't think I have had to be that person before but was amazed at my ability to find her. It was that week that I knew I would be o.k. that somehow I was going to get through it and hopefully gain something out of my loss. It was at this time that I started thinking about things that one often thinks about when dealing with death. " what truly is important and who". I'm sure I came up with the same cliche answers that everyone does but the gift of reflection and somehow being forced to dig down deep within myself has changed me.

I am still dealing daily with the sadness that this has left me, a quite sense of loneliness that has been there long before his actual death. But the difference is I am dealing with that sadness and loneliness now and that is something that I was not able to do before. I can actually look back and see how things that happened in my youth really affected me. I am dealing with the shame associated with having a parent who is too sick with his addiction to reach out to you. I am trying to understand it and be o.k. with it that is hard! I am realizing that the shame I carried around of him reflected on how I felt about myself and I am learning to slowly let that go. I am realizing now how much I really missed him in my life and wish although I know I can't change things that my circumstances were different.

But the one thing I know for sure is that I am strong and if I can choose to grow from this and do with it what I know in my heart is right then the things he has brought me in his death are things that I will be grateful for for the rest of my life!

Happy New Year

We want to wish everyone a wonderful start to 2009!

We are back from our 2 week vacation and although we are still recuperating and stuck in a different time zone things are getting back to normal!

We had a great time on vacation it was loads of fun and the boys were so good. They were almost perfect on the plane rides both there and back and I can't think of one time that stands out that I felt stressed!

We had a lovely time on the cruise and my favorite was the beach day, Indy and Jett love the water and it was awesome seeing the fish swimming in the blue, blue water the iguana's in the bushes and the beautiful white sand.

Christmas was so wonderful! I loved being in one place all day it was much different then the normal shifting from house to house. I must confess though I did miss the snow especially because Boise was getting so much! I love the change of seasons and I love snow!
It was also nice to see my brother and his new baby girl Emily and Xander what sweeties. Xander is about the sweetest little boy I have ever seen and Emily looks a lot like Indy did when he was a babbins so it took me back a bit. Jasun said just yesterday that he missed that baby girl. (Maybe there is still hope for me getting a girl)

It is good to be home and slowly getting back to our normal routines. Indy will be back in school on Jan 5 and starts snowboarding lessons on the 7th. Jett will be back a pre-school on the 6th and things should return to the controlled chaos that we are used to!